Sports crossovers are for the fans. There’s something about the dual-threat athlete that makes us love them more. Sure, you’ve got the Michael Jordans of the world–those for whom the crossover turned out to be a bust, but we still ate it up. Athletes like Kyler Murray and Russell Wilson still hold great promise and Bo Jackson is held by some as the greatest athlete of all time for his success in two sports.
What if you conducted a sports crossover on a larger scale. What if you needed to fill the empty rosters of Sport A with the current player pool of Sport B?
Over the 2019 Christmas holiday a few friends and I fantasized over such an experiment. I present to you the NBA Quidditch Crossover Draft!
The premise is simple: Which current (2019-2020 season) NBA players would make for the best Quidditch team? Not field quidditch–weird. Actual fictional Quidditch on brooms with magic and stuff. Let’s give the people what they want!
For those of you who need a refresher, I’ve included this link describing the history and detail of Quidditch within the Harry Potter Universe. But basically, you’ve got 7 players per team with 4 balls in play: 1 Keeper (think soccer or hockey guarding 3 elevated hoops), 3 Chasers (scorers trying to throw a ball–the quaffle–into the hoops), 2 Beaters (flyers intended to help defend their teammates and hoops while also pummeling the opposing team by directing two “heat-seeking” balls–bludgers–with small clubs), and 1 Seeker (a rogue player whose primary goal is to catch a elusive golden ball called the snitch).
I would like to thank Joey Evans and Joe Tanner for their help with this draft. Joey drafted players for his team, the North Carolina Hippogriffs, and Joe for his Dunking Dementors, while my squad was called the Fighting Phoenixes.
Let the draft begin…
Round 1, Pick 1: Zion Williamson, Chaser (North Carolina Hippogriffs)
Rationale: While there are perhaps better fits at every single position, few will rival Zanos’ versatility, speed, strength and skill. Have a seeker fall off a bewitched broom? Zion can step in. Beaters taken out by rogue bludgers? Well like Michael Jackson, Zion can Beat It too. Ultimately, Z is slotted as a chaser, as his shooting efficiency is unparalleled. He will get your team ahead and take all the attention from the opposing team’s beaters, creating ideal “spacing” for your seeker to go to work. Finally, there’s the popularity aspect: the world will flock to see Zion soar thru the air. They’ll pile into stadiums near and far, stacking so high that when it rains, the Weasleys will be the first to know.
*Note: After the great broomstick splintering incident of 2019, Zion exclusively rides on the Nimbus Twenty- Thousand. Some scouts think this is cause for concern, but team sources say that Zion passed every physical known to man or wizardkind.
Round 1, Pick 2: Lebron James, Chaser, Team Captain (Fighting Phoenixes)
Lebron has proven himself as an all-time competitor. One can make an argument he is the GOAT, and that’s only in basketball. Is he the greatest pure athlete and teammate we’ve ever seen? Let’s see on the quidditch pitch.
As Team Captain, Lebron’s value shines in part due to his ability to make his teammates better. He wins when the team wins. He’s seen victory…and defeat. Experience most valuable in a veteran leader.
A career-long wizard on the box score, Lebron will very likely lead the trio of chasers in scores AND assists.
Round 1, Pick 3: Giannis Antetokounmpo, Chaser (Dunking Dementors)
Giannis can change the game with his defense or with his offense- in transition or in the half court. No one is more versatile on the court. Giannis is an MVP talent that shouldn’t have been available with the 3rd pick- his game is always expanding even though he’s already lethal in every aspect of the game.
Giannis’ skillset translates perfectly to quidditch. He glides down the court, practically flying. He thrives in chaos. A stat-stuffer in his own right, some may say he does the impossible- I’d call it wizardry!
Round 2, Pick 1: Kawhi Leonard, Chaser (Dunking Dementors)
The Klaw built his reputation with stellar defense, so some would be tempted to slot him at Keeper or Beater, but Chaser is all about talent, and Kawhi has talent to spare. He can score in the clutch and he makes everyone better. Kawhi is that rare combination of a glue guy who’s also a game-changer, and physically, he is a matchup nightmare. He controls the game and still does it efficiently.
Translating Kawhi’s skillset to quidditch doesn’t take much of a leap. Quidditch is a physical game that requires quick decisions and precise movements. He’s got long arms and the toughness to play through contact. Kawhi is an elite playmaker with elite skill, so he fits the bill.
Round 2, Pick 2: Stephen Curry, Chaser (Fighting Phoenixes)
Steph is quick, shifty, and a deadeye marksman with a ball in his hand. Perhaps the greatest shooter of all-time, Steph will stretch the scoring proficiency of the team with his long-range shots and smooth yet evasive lay-ins.
We all know quidditch is a fan’s sport and teams often play off the roar of the arena. Has there ever been another player so beloved across fan bases? So entertaining night in and night out? Steph will deliver for his admirers with stunning broom-work and scoring.
As a bonus, Steph will serve as the backup seeker as his hand eye coordination boasts that of superhuman levels.
Round 2, Pick 3: James Harden, Chaser (North Carolina Hippogriffs)
While the ‘Griffs were hoping for Curry to fall to them, they are ecstatic to grab James with their second round pick. James has been revolutionizing the NBA with his deadly combo of 3 pt proficiency, passing acumen, and ability to attack the rim and draw fouls. A source close to the team reports the Hippogriffs’ expectation that James’ ability to get to the free throw line will translate.
Additionally, the team feels James has untapped upside to be the best player in the league with Quidditch rules. Indeed, the sentiment among league front offices is that Harden just might be unstoppable without having to worry about how many steps he – allegedly – takes.
On a related note, here’s a live look-in on James getting word that he’s moving on to the NQL, where the pesky “travel” call does not exist.
Round 3, Pick 1: Luka Doncic, Chaser (North Carolina Hippogriffs)
With the 7th pick, the NC Hippogriffs are singing the halle-luka chorus, as they fill out their final starting Chaser position with Luka Doncic.
According to the team’s GM, the team feels that Doncic’s developmental window aligns well with franchise centerpiece Williamson. Doncic gives the team another weapon from long range, a savvy passer, and a translator whenever the team travels to eastern europe for matches.
While there were quite a few great pieces on the board, the Griffs clearly are angling toward youth and upside. Bold of them to fill out their Chaser lineup completely, as there are some top tier Keepers and Beaters still on the board. Sources say NC has a target in mind for each position, they have to be hopingthat their guy falls to them in the next round. Time will tell.
Round 3, Pick 2: Nikola Jokic, Chaser (Fighting Phoenixes)
With the 8th pick, the Phoenixes select Nikola Jokic to round out their chaser core.
The selection of Jokic will likely unravel critics who commonly highlight his seeming lack of athleticism and abstinence from the weight room. However, the highlight reel says all one needs to know about this finesse giant.
Jokic is a proficient scorer, making a humble name for himself as the cog through which an offense flows. A passer who comps as a big-man Pete Marovich, Jokic completes a chaser dynamic that will surely leave defenders dumbstruck in a tailspin of backdoor and no-look passes—just for fun.
Round 3, Pick 3: Kevin Durant (Dunking Dementors)
The Dunking Dementors had Harden, Doncic, and Jokic high on the draft board. However, we are ecstatic to be able to bring in Kevin Durant as our third and final chaser with the 9th overall pick.
KD fits the physical profile that the Dunking Dementors prioritize- long, tall, and athletic with the ability to score in a variety of ways. KD is the best scorer in the NBA, holding every kind of shot in his arsenal. Good luck shutting him down when you have Giannis and Kawhi out there as well! We’ve nabbed 3 chasers, all with the killer instinct to put away teams in crunch time.
KD’s skillset and scoring mindset translate flawlessly to the role of chaser, where teams will be coming after him with their best, most physical defense. However, let’s remember that “KD is not nice” and rest assured none of this negativity will slow him down. Like Aragog, the Durantula is one of the most fearsome creatures out there.
Round 4, Pick 1: Russell Westbrook, Seeker. (Dunking Dementors)
Quick, ferocious – even a bit reckless – Russ is the perfect fit as a seeker. With elite athleticism and a never-quit attitude, he will stop at nothing tracking down the golden snitch.
As seeker, Russ can play his game – really the game within the game – and block out all the distractions around him. No one in the game has a more singular focus and no one has the desire and fire to match Russell Westbrook. He’s truly the ideal seeker.
With Russ at seeker, the Dunking Dementors will be saying “Why not” win Quidditch World Cup.
Round 4, Pick 2: Joel Embiid, Beater (Fighting Phoenixes)
Embiid has clearly become the most intimidating player in the NBA both with his play and trash talk. He doesn’t understand the concept of mercy and stops at nothing to demoralize his nightly matchup.
While Embiid will be an expert with a bludger bat, fear will be his greatest asset. Opponents will find themselves flying with the utmost concern for this Cameroonian force—unable to focus on their assignments during the game.
Round 4, Pick 3: Rudy Gobert, Keeper (NC Hippogriffs)
With the 12th pick, the NC Hippogriffs select the Stifle Tower himself, Rudy Gobert – Keeper.
Widely known as the best shot-blocker in the NBA, Gobert’s instincts for swatting balls away from hoops fit perfectly with the modern NBQ. Rudy’s defensive instincts are second to none, and a perfect compliment to the offensively-minded Chasers the team has selected.
Sources say that the Griffs will look next to beef up their defensive back-line with a Beater.
Round 5, Pick 1: Draymond Green, Beater (NC Hippogriffs)
With the 13th pick, the NC Hippogriffs hold their nose and select Draymond Green – Beater.
Able to go broom-to-broom with the elite big chasers of the league – the Lebrons and Giannises – while also able to chase around the quicker chasers out there, like Steph; Draymond is a natural beater. A hard-nosed player, Draymond doesn’t back down from a fight. He’s the exact kind of beater you want if you’re going up against a team like the Slytherins, who might try to muck things up out there in the air.
Nicknamed, “the Bludger” for the punch he packs, Draymond will bring the team spirit to the Griffs.
Round 5, Pick 2: Patrick Beverley, Beater (Fighting Phoenixes)
What Beverley lacks in stature he well supplies in scrappiness. In the NBA he plays for one purpose…disruption. He wears down opposing teams by pestering their star player and pushing the limits of referees who simply can’t see everything. Can you imagine what he could do with a bludger bat in his hand!? No seeker is safe.
Beverley will pair nicely with Embiid, likely serving as Embiid’s hype man when the much larger counterpoint wants to take a rest day from the gym. Beverley, a handler in his own right, can also substitute as a chaser or seeker in a pinch.
Round 5, Pick 3: Anthony Davis, Keeper (Dunking Dementors)
In keeping with a consistent physical profile, The Dunking Dementors choose length and athleticism over bully ball. AD has excellent wingspan and timing to block shots for days.
Furthermore, Davis excels in pushing his team the other way. The Dunking Dementors will prove deadly in transition, and Davis can kickstart that attack by controlling the area near the hoops and sending the rest of his team on the attack. He grew up playing as an attacker- experience that serves him well in handling 1 v 1 pressure and setting up his teammates to move forward.
Round 6, Pick 1: Ben Simmons, Beater (Dunking Dementors)
Simmons has been criticized for his offense at times, but the Dunking Dementors won’t ask him to do too much. Instead, they’ll play to his strengths as Simmons is turning into an elite-level stopper. He can match up with any chaser in the league and is quick enough to protect the seeker as well.
Like the rest of the team, Simmons is a long and athletic player- the perfect fit for the Dunking Dementors. This whole team can MOVE and they’ll be a sight to see soaring all over the pitch. Simmons is a great value pick as well, because if he figures out some of his scoring woes, he could turn into the next great chaser in Dunking Dementors history.
Round 6, Pick 2: Ja Morant, Seeker (Fighting Phoenixes)
With the 17th pick, the firebirds select Ja Morant, Seeker.
Morant has quickly taken the league by storm, exceeding expectations coming out of the basketball draft. He is a physical point man who never backs down from a challenge—often “rising to meet the occasion.” One of the fastest players on the basketball court, his speed and agility will translate well to the quidditch pitch.
Being one of the youngest players any given night, Morant plays with a chip on his shoulder—always wanting to prove his value to the veterans. No matter his matchup, he won’t back down from a battle for the snitch.
Round 6, Pick 3: Jimmy Butler, Beater (NC Hippogriffs)
Jimmy is exactly the sort of beater you want to pair with someone like Draymond Green. You might say that Jimmy started from the bottom, and now he’s here. Always with a chip on his shoulder, JB fits best in a team environment where he can push his teammates to be great. A phenomenal defender, he’s the perfect compliment to Draymond – hard-nosed but with the quickness to keep up with the bludgers and chasers that Draymond can’t quite catch.
The selection of JBut solidifies the back-line of this Hippogriffs team as one characterized by toughness and meanness (except for Gobert, everyone knows the french are too polite).
Round 7, Pick 1: Chris Paul, Seeker (NC Hippogriffs)
When he’s not being a snitch himself , CP3 has been chasing snitches his whole life. See here:
See the excellent form that Paul brought way back in college Wizard school.
Apart from that, CP3 has the agility and instincts that define the seeker position. The active NBA leader in steals, the Griffs anticipate those instincts translating instantly into an outstanding seeker. Chris holds the NBA record for average steals per game across an entire season and it’s not out of the question that those very same skills will enable him to challenge for the record of quickest snitch catch in the upcoming NQA season.
When asked to comment about CP3’s age, team sources believe that CP3’s experience will mesh nicely with the youth of young Williamson and Doncic. They went on to say that CP3 has been selected as team captain.
Sources also say that the team is optimistic that the “second time is the charm” for CP3 and the Beard. They declined to comment on what type of charm, but opposing execs expect the pairing to work out on the quidditch pitch. “Finally, there is more than one ball for them to play with,” said one anonymous source.
Round 7, Pick 2: Domantas Sabonis, Keeper (Fighting Phoenixes)
In the basketball world, Sabonis has long been destined for greatness. His father proved to be an all-time talent before the age of digital media. Domantas himself, coming out of college was touted by one scout as “the best fundamental rebounder I’ve ever seen.”
Sabonis’ knack for swarming the loose ball will translate well to quidditch when guarding the rings. His reach and responsiveness will leave opposing teams consistently frustrated. Additionally, Sabonis is becoming one of basketballs tough mudders—preferring contact in the trenches. Beaters will struggle to dismount this guardian.
Round 7, Pick 3: Steven Adams, Beater (Dunking Dementors)
With the 21st pick and the last starter selected, the Dunking Dementors select Steven Adams, Beater, from New Zealand.
The Big Banger brings that thunder from down under on the court, and he’ll do the same on the quidditch pitch. Adams backs down from no one, and he isn’t afraid to bring the pain. His toughness is unmatched, and this imposing force will be a welcome addition to the Dunking Dementors’ roster.
Steven Adams is a grinder- the kind of guy who does the dirty work. He’d easily fit in as mobster muscle, and that’s exactly what you want in a Beater. He’s as mean as a snake, and plays more physical than finesse. If you need to bowl over the opponent, Adams is your man.
Round 8, Pick 1: Kyrie Irving, Reserve (Dunking Dementors)
With the 22nd overall pick and first bench player selected, The Dunking Dementors select Kyrie Irving. Kyrie is expected to slot in as a seeker, the most important position in the game, and most liable to need a replacement.
The downside to Kyrie is that he’s yet to realize the earth isn’t actually flat. This could impair his judgment while flying on a broom, as he would fail to account for the curvature of the earth in his flight patterns. If not for this flaw, Kyrie may have been a top 10 pick.
That being said, the Dunking Dementors are pleased to nab him this late. They’re confident the team physicians and warlocks can properly educate the veteran all star to unlock his full potential. He can get his shot whenever he wants. He has the clutch gene. He’s quick and crafty. An excellent value in the late rounds, Irving could also see time at Chaser.
Round 8, Pick 2: Paul George, Reserve (Fighting Phoenixes)
An absolute steal at this point in the draft—as he is arguably worthy of a starting spot on other rosters—George fits the bill for quidditch greatness as a potential scorer, defender, and grit-n-grinder. In other words, he will bring an all-around talent to the game off the bench. An MVP runner-up, George knows what it takes to takeover a game and isn’t afraid of the moment.
On a lighter note, fans will be delighted to see George’s crossover into wizarding sponsorship as he is rumored to premiere a new pumpkin juice flavored Gatorade and Astrology inspired colorways on his upcoming Nike PGQ shoes.
Round 8, Pick 3: Damian Lillard, Reserve (NC Hippogriffs)
Good luck keeping up with Dame on a broomstick. Lillard has the kind of speed that waves “bye bye” to defenders. He has the range to score the Quaffle all over the pitch. And he has the versatility and craftiness to sub in for the older CP3 as a seeker.
Dame will also attempt to be the first ever, Quidditch Player / Rapper. His upcoming single, “It’s All About the Galleons” is meant to announce his arrival onto the Quidditch world scene.
As an added bonus, Dame is 1000% in the head of multiple of his counterparts across the league. He looks forward to seeing Russ try to give him the “rockabye” while on a broomstick.
Round 9, Pick 1: Jayson Tatum, Reserve (NC Hippogriffs)
When asked to comment, head coach Potter Longbottom said: “We think Tatum is the steal of the draft. How often can you draft a guy #25, who will intimidate the best player in the league?”
Tatum, for his part, is excited to make the switch to Quidditch. “I look forward to catching a certain 35 (ok almost 36) year old body on my broom. #JustLikeHoops”
While the team’s plans for Tatum are still a work in progress, it’s obvious that his versatility is very appealing. He’s a threat to score from a distance at the Chaser position, but he’s also capable of defending larger Chasers on the other end. In addition, Tatum can fill in Beater, where his defensive instincts could make a tangible impact.
Finally, given Tatum’s age, the Griffs have likely solidified the best young core in the league – with Tatum, Luca and Zion. #BrightFutureGriffs.
Round 9, Pick 2: Pascal Siakam, Reserve (Fighting Phoenixes)
Once again, how is this prospect still on the board? Siakam is another all-around player that can fill a variety of roles. He’s a premier defender with his long reach, athleticism, and never-quit mentality and someone who can score from anywhere on the court. To say he’s an up-and-comer in the NBA would be an insult—he’s already there. Siakam is a leading MVP candidate being the successor to Kawhi Leonard’s reigning champion Raptors.
Siakam’s most understated value is his “team first” approach. You’ll be hard pressed to find a more humble and self deferential player—qualities that will translate perfectly to the game of brooms and the talented roster he will now complement. Like starting Beater Embiid, Siakam hails from Cameroon. I think it’s fair to say we can all look forward to this home land connection on the pitch!
Round 9, Pick 3: Karl Anthony Towns, Reserve (Dunking Dementors)
Towns can slot in at keeper or beater, and is a young force for the future of the Dementors. He’s incredibly athletic for his size, with plenty of room to grow his skillset. He can cover a lot of ground In a hurry and may eventually develop enough range to contribute at chaser. The Dunking Dementors are confident he can shore up his consistency from deep, a vital skill for the quidditch player of the future.
This is the perfect value for late in the draft. He may not be a thoroughly polished veteran, but he’s coming into his own as an NBA all-star and will get there soon enough on the quidditch pitch. He’s got some maturing to do when it comes to 1 on 1 beefs, but we’ve seen other quidditch greats overcome those conflicts and rise to excellence. The Dunking Dementors feel great about KAT as the future of the league, knowing that in the interim he will continue to alter shots at an elite level while progressing his all around game.
Round 10, Pick 1: Kristaps Porzingis, Reserve (Dunking Dementors)
The Dunking Dementors round out their roster with the 28th pick and the most magical creature of all- The Unicorn- Kristaps Porzingis.
Young Porzingis can do it all, so he’s the perfect high-upside depth piece. He’s got the scoring range and versatility plus the length and athleticism that the Dunking Dementors love. This combination of skills is such a rarity that quidditch fans’ jaws will drop and they’ll have steam coming out of their ears like they’ve just eaten some Pepper Imps when they see The Unicorn in action.
The Dunking Dementors figure to cross-train Porzingis at all positions, but will likely start him out at chaser, the most-needed area of depth. The Unicorn has magic in his blood, and he’s exactly what the Dunking Dementors need for their run to win the Quidditch World Cup.
Round 10, Pick 2: De’Aaron Fox, Reserve (Fighting Phoenixes)
The fastest player in the NBA (it’s not even close), Fox will (literally and figuratively) FLY on a broom. With his ability to zip around zooming opponents and objects, Fox will primarily backup the Seeker position. #swipathesnitch
Since his days in college Fox has been a fierce competitor. The bigger the stage, the better he will perform. Fans can be confident he will work relentlessly to improve his craft and continue to round himself into a complete quidditch player.
While the fox is an ordinary creature in the magical world, they are known to manifest in patronus form. Could this Fox be the “silver” bullet against the Dunking Dementors? Time will tell.
Round 10, Pick 3: Victor Oladipo, Reserve (NC Hippogriffs)
The Griffs were devastated to see Fox come off the board just before their pick, however they can’t stay down for long. It’s a testament to how deep this draft is, that the final pick has so many appealing options.
The Griffs could choose Devin Booker, and form the greatest set of Chasers since the Salem Witch Trials.
They could choose Bam Adebayo – a kid who had his name down to play Beater since the day he was born.
Ultimately, with the final pick of the 2019 NQA Draft, the NC Hippogriffs select… Victor Oladipo!
Oladipo will slot in as a utility man – capable of player Seeker, Chaser or Beater. Most expect him to see time at Seeker though, given that he was named after one of the most famous seekers in history.
Big enough to keep up with many of the taller chasers out there, strong enough to fend off the peskiest bludger, fast enough to outstrip most seekers, Oladipo is the ultimate glue guy.
VO took a star turn in the 2018 NBA season before suffering a frustrating string of leg injuries. Fortunately for Vic, and for the Griffs, you don’t need to push off with your legs to star in Quidditch. As such, the team views VO as having some of the highest upside in the league.
I think it’s clear that we can expect great things from Mr ‘Dipo.
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The results are in. Whose team will have what it takes? Will chemistry be their downfall? Will these muggle basketball giants fall off their brooms? Here’s looking to you, J. K.
Draft Recap:
NC Hippogriffs
Zion Williamson, Chaser
James Harden, Chaser
Luka Doncic, Chaser
Draymond Green, Beater
Jimmy Butler, Beater
Chris Paul, Seeker
Rudy Gobert, Keeper
Damian Lillard, Reserve
Jayson Tatum, Reserve
Victor Oladipo, Reserve
Fighting Phoenixes
Lebron James, Chaser
Stephen Curry, Chaser
Nikola Jokic, Chaser
Joel Embiid, Beater
Patrick Beverley, Beater
Ja Morant, Seeker
Damontas Sabonis, Keeper
Paul George, Reserve
Pascal Siakam, Reserve
De’Aaron Fox, Reserve
Dunking Dementors
Giannis Antetokounmpo, Chaser
Kawhi Leonard, Chaser
Kevin Durant, Chaser
Ben Simmons, Beater
Steven Adams, Beater
Russell Westbrook, Seeker
Anthony Davis, Keeper
Kyrie Irving, Reserve
Karl Anthony Towns, Reserve
Kristaps Porzingis, Reserve
The Bull 